My Journey as a Therapist

In my third practicum during grad school, we were asked to reflect on who we were as therapists, and what our approach was. I used to think my journey as a therapist began when I started practicing therapy with clients.

As I reflect on this once more, in this moment, I believe my journey as a therapist began with life itself. I see no separation between the person I am, and the therapist I am - what you get in front of you, is yes, someone who has gone through rigorous training, but at the core - a human - just like any other. And this is how I practice my approach. I use interventions that I believe in - that I have full faith in. I am a passionate person, and I can’t separate this in the therapy room.

Therapy saved my life, and brought the reality to my life that I only imagined in my dreams. My journey as a therapist began with life, but it will continue on forever.

This is an excerpt from my reflection during that time - Written in July 2022

I have been a prisoner in my own body for as long as I remember… until one day, I was not. I had to now learn and create a new life that was “free” and full of opportunity, but it came at a cost. A cost that I did not know I had to pay - a cost that noone ever warned me about. As a prisoner, I had rules and regulations, black and white answers, shoulds and should nots. I lived in the ego, outside my body, in constant fear and on survival mode. Fear is what ran the show.

Fear is how I started my journey to become a therapist. I remember coming into my first practicum, having to decide what theory I was going to use. It was “solution-focused therapy”, and it all makes sense now. That was a reflection of me, and how I was as a person then. On survival mode, trying to problem-solve, trying to get through the day and ignoring everything my body was telling me. This was my comfort zone.

I was later introduced to Emotion Focused Therapy, by my supervisor, and this opened a whole new world for me. For the first time in my life, things slowly started to make sense. I learned about emotion theory and this changed everything for me.

I slowed down and learned about what was happening with me, and what I needed. I started to stand up for myself, started to go against the status quo and for the first time in my life, I felt liberated.

Chaos followed …

and I learned that freedom had a price. I also learned, there was no price for freedom.

And then I finally learned - the ultimate freedom was surrender.

Nadiah